Emmy-nominated Yvonne Orji, who stars as Molly on Insecure, popped into a virtual happy hour, a.k.a. Quarantinis, with members of Hearst Black Culture last month to chat about what success and self-contentment mean to her. Orji, who is also a stand-up comedian and podcast host, shared her wisdom about applying her energy to the things that matter, redefining what success means to her, and why she's done with people-pleasing.
Watch her full interview above and read through some of the highlights below.
On the meaning of success …
"I think you're constantly redefining success," Orji said. "Really, success is contentment." The actress said it's easy to compare oneself to others, but that'll only welcome distraction and upset feelings.
"If you've gotta ask yourself, 'Do I want that?' you don't want that, because the things that comfort you are the things that are naturally like, 'This is what I want to do,'" she said.
On people-pleasing …
In an earlier podcast episode, Orji spoke about the importance of unlearning the habit of pleasing other people. Speaking with HBC, she revealed that she's done some personal work clearing out opportunities and relationships that weren't working for her, dropping the need to be please other people and be liked.
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"I have done a tone of work in quarantine just saying no, ending friendships. Because I was just like, 'What are we doing?' Deleting people from my Instagram," she said.
"If we're being honest, you're afraid of having that difficult conversation, because you're still out here trying to be liked. We ain't got time for you to try to be liked. If you're kind, if you're loving, if you move with integrity, if you move with grace and you have faith at the center, if somebody don't rock with you, then that is not on you."
On nurturing her talents …
Orji didn't always know that she wanted to be a performer or a comedian; she was guided to that decision by faith.
"For me, it was God," she said. "I didn't know I wanted to be in entertainment. I didn't know I was funny. One of the things I try to tell myself is, 'Don't let you be the last one to find out that you're you.'"
Her further advice? "Do the thing that excites you the most."
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